pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
