I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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