dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
