I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
