i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
