you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize