Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my poor anus
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
