nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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