Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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