zippers are such a cool invention
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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