Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
