it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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