Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
