Dual....:-)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
