Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
