is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
