The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
