i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
