try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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