She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
