you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
