I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
