Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
