what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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