It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
