**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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