The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
