I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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