Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am mentally ready for anal.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
