She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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