she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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