If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
