well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it hurts more in the daytime
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
