We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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