I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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