have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
