Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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