we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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