It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
