Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm both gender and math confused
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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