His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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