I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
