If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
