haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
