Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
