Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
