either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you inspire me to be a worse person
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
