you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
