a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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