Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
