Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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