My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
