Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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