She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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